Feedback Loops In Action – 09/03/2009

Let me preface today’s post by explaining the purpose of the blog & the exercise & the dieting is to lose weight, while learning a healthier lifestyle that will lead to choices that enable me to maintain a healthy weight & fitness level so that as I get older, my quality of life will be good.  So, it’s not all about the weight.  It’s not all about the countdown.  (22 days to surf day)  While I would have liked to have lost the weight in 3 months, we have to consider the bigger picture.  If I lost the weight, but didn’t find healthy habits, I’d be doomed to regain almost immediately.  That may be why people feel dieting doesn’t work.  April, let me modify what you said.  “It’s not you that failed, but the method of application of knowledge”.  The Biggest Loser shows ‘hyper-weight-loss’.  It’s not realistic.  You can’t take those methods into real life and make them work.  And you can’t lose weight quickly.  It just isn’t possible.  But dieting does work.  I just don’t think it works as fast as we want it to.  And I’m noticing a narrow margin for error (cheating).  So, for me it’s taking longer, however, instead of getting discouraged, I am seeking out information, feedback, methods that increase my ability to succeed in healthy weight management.

Weigh-in 168lbs.  Oye, consistency.  Last week I stumbled upon a great motivation blog.  In one post, Luc discusses & explains Feedback Loops.  See it Here.  Take the time to read it, as you will gain insight into why things you tried to accomplish in the past may not have been as successful as you desired.  He is an excellent writer.  From it you will see some great steps to modify what you do & increase your success reaching your goals.  Be it weight-loss, work goals, finance management or whatever. 

Taking this wonderful new information and applying it to weight-loss should bring about greater success for me.  Now, acknowledging I did not accomplish any weight loss in the past week,  I am supposed to observe my lack of progress.  I see that on Sunday (my long ride), I did not ride due to hurting my back at a performance on Saturday.  Monday I was so far behind at work that I had to use my ride time to catch up, so no ride.  Wednesday, The Guy had a problem at work, and because we work as a team in everything, we needed to fix his problem.  Hence, no ride.  I did ride as usual Saturday & Tuesday.

Still allowing the fructose overdose on 8/21 to justify crazy eating, my calorie intake was as high as 2000 on several days over the last 2 weeks.  (it was weird, having that fructose sent me into a weird depressed funk that I am still pulling out of)  Also, my food choices were not what I needed to be eating.  Sugar, wheat & starch in several meals.  Also, having trouble concentrating caused a slowdown with work, so I fell off my every two hour meals causing me to eat either too much or too little through-out the day.  It was odd, during the week immediately after the fructose test,  twice I found  myself at the end of the day with no appetite & having only consumed 800 calories.  Way too low.  Now, I am supposed to reflect on what could have been different.

Aside from not picking up that damn box, I don’t think I could have done anything to ride on Sunday.  That cost about 2500 calories.  I could have fought through the depressed funk harder to keep on top of my work.  That would have given me the ride on Monday.  I was in denial as it was happening.  Oh, no, I’m not depressed, just stupid.  Whine, whine, whine.  Why is it so hard to remember how to do my work.  Blah, blah, blah.  That was so productive.  Wednesday night needing my attention could not be avoided.  The Guy is so wonderful, & as his wife,  I owe it to be available to him in a crisis.

On to food.  I need to gain a replacement action for when I hit stressful times.  Two distinct triggers came up in the last few weeks.  Doctor appointments make me very stressed out.  I have a high-maintenance client that stresses me out.  And meeting with new clients stresses me out.  I know many of you don’t believe how shy I am.  Doing things like showing up to lead rides or doing a riding clinic makes me extremely nervous.  Working with new clients has made me nervous for 22 years, it never got easier.  Fire performing in front of anyone, even people that I know terrifies me.  But I have a very full & active life.  Feel the fear & do it anyway.  I think I perfected this.  The Guy tells me he has a hard time knowing when I’m fearful of these situations.  He says I always look so calm & confident.   Let me assure you I am not!!

I am going to make sure to schedule all Dr appts so I have time to eat eggs before I go.  That always works to curb my appetite.  Racing to the store to get some emergency dark chocolate is not bringing me closer to my goals of being healthy.  Along with eating eggs before my meetings, I’m going to spend a little prep time before new client appointments to prepare for my nervousness.  I always focus my prep on the appointment itself.  I want to see if giving thought & taking notes on the nervousness will help ease the stress.

The stress from the high-maintenance client?  Hmmm, I need a way to restore the energy they suck out of me.  I’ll have to give this one some thought.  All this sounds just great, doesn’t it.  I have to be mindful of why these solutions did not work in the past.  The Guy & I live at a million miles an hour.  This is my life, I love it & wouldn’t change it for anything.  But I know I struggle implementing new actions because they require me: 1. to slow down, which stops my momentum & 2. change, doing new things always takes up extra energy.  So how do I move forward with changes that will bring different outcomes?

List some specific actions that will bring about desired change.  Let’s see what that means.

Hard, strict action of eating before leaving for a stressful situation.  Must -Eat- Eggs.  Make sure I leave enough time for eating.  Reacquaint myself with (yuck) hard boiled eggs.

Schedule in time before client meetings to think about why they make me so nervous.  Remind myself that I really am good at what I do.  I am intelligent, articulate, and occasionally charming.  I work hard for my clients and do a great job.  I am ok.

Spend the next week preparing for things a tiny bit slower.  Resist the urge to race from one task to another.  Breathe occasionally.

So, this is one part of an on-going experiment with feedback loops.  We’ll see next week how it goes.