Posts Tagged ‘fat’

Yes, I cheated yesterday & I’m back up to 168lbs.  Yes, I am not makingaaa girly_girls_lift_weights_tshirt-p235039136489522999gsv1_325

 progress yet, but I’ll get to that in a moment.  So, I’m all excited about the running and then, wait. not so fast…

Here’s the deal with the Dr.  Seems I didn’t mess up my back last month – my back’s been messed up since birth.  Pars defect of spondylolisthesis.  This seems pretty crazy given the fact that my back has always been so strong.  But He’s got the fancy doctor’s office with the PA, nurse, waiting room & all, so I’ll have to acquiesce.

A genetic defect in my spine that I’ve had forever.  This was good & bad news, but mostly good.  Good – no spine fracture.  Bad – vertebrae slippage.  Good – treatment only requires at-home PT.  Bad – no more running.

aaa 0904_woman_with-weight_preview“No Running For You!”  From the exercise nazi.  ( a Seinfeld reference, yeah.)  Remembering I am in a positive place now, no hard feelings.  Deep relaxing breath.  I am so glad I didn’t blow that $165 on those running shoes.  Moving on from here I just need to figure out where to go instead.  I was excited about the running because it was making an impact on the weight loss.  But I think the impact on my spine in future years will be too high a price to pay.  Hmmm, what to do instead.

High repetition weight training.  Core work outs.  Notice how we intuitively gravitate towards what isaaa strength best for us?  My favorite form of exercise has always been weight-training.  Seems with the situation with my spine, this was probably the best, aside from maybe swimming. (I hate swimming in chlorine)  Now, back to the problem I was having a few months ago – why has it become so hard to go upstairs to the gym in my house and weight train?

Well, it seems for now, I have the PT exercising to do as I prepare for my long rides starting next week (OMG, so soon?)  That will keep me busy to begin.  Then I’ll just have to resort to forcing myself through the first few days.  Maybe I can do it like the cycling & give a beginner weight-training class.  Seems like when I have people show up for something, I seem to get the work done. 

IMG_2525-1 reversedMaybe I’ll get back to serious practice with the fire-spinning & belly-dancing. (yes, that’s me in the picture!!)  I guess I just worry that the calorie burn won’t be high enough.  To off-set it, I’ll have to dramatically increase my lean muscle mass.  I gotta tell you, it is hard to ‘feel-the-burn’ when doing hip-shimmy’s & belly-rolls.  Sorry this is such a whiny, boring post today.  Get this off my chest & tomorrow head in a new direction.


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spine picYesterday I weighed in at 165lbs.  I’m not weighing today, so there!  ; )  It has been an interesting & long week so far.  Today is the day – Neurologist Appointment!!  Finally.  I don’t know how much of what I am feeling is real & how much is imagined.  I have really cut back on riding, I’m not running at all.  Not losing.  Not training.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to ride ‘as a ride marshall’ 65 miles on the 19th & 72 miles on Oct 3rd.  Keep playing the Dr statements through my mind, because they sound so weird.  Fractured spine… narrowing spinal cavity… arthritic lumbar spine… he can’t be talking about me, right?

So, the day will be interesting.  I hope the Dr can make sense of my ramblings.  My cervical spine is tight.  The thoracic section hurts during the day & makes a grinding noise when I twist left & right.  Tightness & pain in the lumbar area.  I’m such a baby…

And so I runWoman Runner 1 a

First, we’ll look at the science of training, then detail 2 types of endurance building exercises to incorporate into your running schedule to increase your strength, endurance & skill.  

Interval Training is repeated bouts of high intensity exercise with intermittant rest periods. Intermittant exercise allows a higher total volume of high intensity work. Interval training allows us to accumulate a greater volume of stress on the blood pumping capacity of the heart.

These exposures to additional ventricular stretch may help trigger ventricular remodeling (bigger ventricle volume).  A program employing relatively low volume but high intensity endurance type exercise will be very effective in increasing the VO2max of a previously untrained or (substantially detrained) person.

woman runner 4For the untrained, interval training is a way of accumulating minutes of exercise at a higher intensity than our skeletal muscles are initially adapted to tolerate. In the untrained, the heart is better conditioned to endurance performance than the skeletal muscles.

The improvement in lactate threshold, or the percentage of VO2 max that can be maintained without significant lactic acid accumulation.  Changes in the lactate threshold occur over a longer time-course than the improvement in maximal oxygen consumption, even if we train regularly.  And remember that our diet can strongly affect our lactate threshold.  Give consideration to removing refined carbs & sugar from your diet when training to raise the threshold level.  (Make it take longer for your body to start producing lactic acid.)

Speed Workoutswoman runner 3


These are short intervals that are performed at faster than your normal training speed. We are going to begin with introductory level speed workouts and moderately improve speed and performance for a 5K race. Base these workouts on your current 5K race time.

If you have not completed a race or do not know your current 5K race time, here is a way to figure it out:

There are 2 levels of time trial measuring. If you are very new to running, run a full half mile & time yourself. Rest for 3 minutes in between, then run another full half mile. Add these 2 times together and multiply by 3.25. That will give you a good starting point for training purposes.

woman runner 5a aIf you are slightly more advanced, try this: Go to a 400 meter track (most high school tracks are 400 meters) and run three 1600 meter repeats with one minute of rest between the three repeats. There are 1609 meters in 1 mile. Run the repeats at a pace that you can maintain for the entire workout. Make sure you choose a challenging speed that still allows you to complete the three workouts. Calculate your average pace per mile for the three repeats. Multiply this pace by 3.125. That will give you a fairly accurate estimate of your 5K race finishing time.

Hill Repeat Workouts


Hill repeat workouts will help build strength and speed. These workouts are short, repeated runs up a hill of small, moderate or high grade, depending on your experience with running and your fitness level. Remember, if you’ve never run hill repeats before, start a little easy & gradually increase the distance and the intensity.woman runner 6

Newer runners can do shorter sections up the hill, then jog or walk down, increasing the uphill run distance regularly until you are running all the way up & down. Start by finding a hill with the grade you want to train on. Run up it at race pace or faster, then jog or walk down for recovery. The grade should be steep enough to test you, but not so steep that your form suffers.

Run or walk a warm-up before you begin. At least 5 minures of running or walking. As you hit the incline, lean forward with your back tall. Lift your knees and focus more on vertical, rather than forward, motion. Lift through your hip flexors and push down with your glutes and calves. Keep your shoulders relaxed and low as you pump your arms.

Shorten your stride. Stay on your toes. Think baby steps. Depending on the hill and your current conditioning, do 3 to 10 repeats, totaling 20 to 40 minutes of hill repeats. Vary the intensity; short and very steep, longer and not-so-steep, fast/faster/fastest. In combination with a regular running routine, run hill repeats once a week. Always finish your workout with 10 to 15 minutes of easy running or walking to help the body cool down.

Now, just go do it

There you have it.  Running 101, 102, 103.  Everything you need to know to be a healthy, strong runner, start-to-finish line!!

woman runner 2a

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Weigh-in, 167lbs.  Still trapped here due to bad choices.  I will be giving this alot of thought this week to try & figure out how to better stick to the dieting.  Also, holding stronger to the aa hospital signmulti-faceted exercise.  Some of it may be due to frustration.  Some of it may be due to this tremendous depressed feeling that came over me a few days after my fructose test.  Results from all the fun testing I’ve been doing has been slow in coming.  The running stress-test & heart ultrasound with the cardio DR showed nothing wrong with my heart, so far.  Still no explanation of the chest pain when my heart rate goes above 170.  He is pushing, (really hard) for me to have a heart cath done.  I’m afraid, very afraid <<shaking & trembling>> 

aa doctorsLung Dr is refusing to give me understandable info from my chest Xray.  He wants me to see a ENT Dr, because he thinks I have Vocal Cord Dysfunction.  I want him to tell me what the dark stuff I saw at the bottom of my Xray was first.  We’re at a stand-off.  All the other cool tests he ran show my lungs are functioning at 91% capacity, which he thought was great with my age & smoking history.  I’m going today to have an MRI of my back.  Funny thing happened at my internist’s office last week.  I pulled a muscle in my back recently, so we did a back Xray to see what type of damage lifting those boxes caused.  He said, based on the Xray, I probably just pulled a muscle, however

Don’t you just love when that happens.  However… it looks like you have a slipped L5 vertebrae & arthritis of the spine, things that have been going on with your back for a really long time.  So, we want you to go see a neurologist.  The neuro-Dr won’t see me without the MRI  So, after the MRI, I’ll be running off to see the Neuro-Dr.  What fun. 

Just on the off chance that my kids are reading this blog – really consider all the abuse you are giving your bodies right now, little ones.  I know in your 20’s you feel so invinsible and all.  But it appears as though from 45yo – 55yo, you have to spend all your time & energy running around to all these Dr’s, calculating just how much that carefree & reckless lifestyle is really going to cost.  I know you still don’t like listening to me, cuz I’m your mother & all, however

And so I runaa great running

Once we have a clear understanding of how to ease into a training program that incorporates running & how important a role rest & recovery play into it, we are ready to explore being a strong runner.

Let us begin with stretching.  We’ll start with stretching even though it won’t be the first thing you do simply because it will be the first think you think you should do.  Only stretch after the muscles have warmed up (.5 to 1 mile walking, for example)  Be very careful when stretching, you can do more harm than good if you are not knowledgeable about the proper way to stretch. 

Only stretch to the point of mild tension. No stretch should ever be painful.  Stretching exercises are static in nature and should be held for 20-30sec. Do not use bouncing or jerky movements.  Instead lean into the stretch & try not to hold your breath. Normal, relaxed breathing is best.  When done properly, stretching can decrease the chances of an injury but if done wrong, can actually increase your chances of an injury.

aa runner stretchingMuscles should always be stretched slowly, reducing the muscle tension allowing the muscle to be stretched further.  Personally I don’t stretch for cycling, haven’t found a need to yet.  But what I have found with running is stretching is very important.  As I began running I did not stretch & found that my large muscles were way too tight.  I spoke with experienced runners, they discussed why stretching was important.  About elongating the muscle for better performance.


Stand with feet hip-width apart, back straight and stomach tight. Keep the knees slightly bentaa calf stretch
MOVEMENT: Step forward with left foot. Keeping in a straight line from head to the right heel, lean forward but keeping the right heel on the floor. Place both hands on left thigh.
HOLD: Slowly count to 20-30 (repeat twice) Repeat other side. the front leg should be kept over the ankle. Do not hold your breath, breathe gently
SAFETY POINTS: Keep the back straight and the tummy tight. The knee of the front leg should be kept over the ankle. Do not hold your breath, breathe gently.


Caution:avoid this exercise if pain is felt in the lower back aa hamstring stretch
MUSCLE: Hamstring
LOCATION:Rear of thigh
STANCE: Standing up straight, place right foot slightly behind hips.
MOVEMENT:Slowly bend the rear leg as if sitting backwards. keep the front leg straight with a very slight bend at the knee. Place hands on right thigh. Push buttocks backwards, slowly, until you a feel a slight tension in your hamstring. Keep your neck in line with your spine.
HOLD:Count slowly to 20-30 (repeat twice) Repeat other side.


MUSCLE: Quad/Quadriceps Femursaa quad stretch
LOCATION: Front of thigh
STANCE: Two feet together, bend your left knee and with your left hand take the left foot towards your buttock.
MOVEMENT: Slight bend on the supporting leg. Keep the knees close together. Tilt the pelvis forward and keep the back straight.
HOLD: Count slowly to 20-30 (repeat twice) Repeat other leg.


MUSCLE: Chest muscles/Pectorals and Deltoidsaa chest stretch
LOCATION: Chest and Shoulders
STANCE: Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees slightly bent
MOVEMENT: Grasp hands together behind your back.  Ease your arms gently up behind you.   This should give a feeling of the chest ‘opening’.
HOLD: Count slowly to 20-30 (repeat stretch twice)


MUSCLE (S) WORKED: Erector Spinaeundulatingspinestretch
LOCATION: Lower back
STANCE: Stand with feet shoulder width apart, knees bent with hands on thighs.
Shoulders should be slightly apart.
MOVEMENT: SLOWLY pull stomach in and curl upwards (similar to a cat)
HOLD: Count slowly to 20-30 and return to original position. Repeat twice


MUSCLE: Trapezoids and Latissimus Dorsiaa back shoulder stretch
LOCATION: Upper back
STANCE: Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees slightly bent.
MOVEMENT: Clasp the hands over head with the palms away from the body. Gently push the palms away without locking the elbows.
HOLD:Count slowly to 20-30. Repeat stretch twice


MUSCLE: Deltoidaa deltoid stretch
LOCATION: Shoulder
STANCE: Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees slightly bent.
MOVEMENT: Take the right arm across the body at shoulder height, keeping the shoulder relaxed. Place the left hand on the right arm slightly above the elbow and gently bring the right arm towards the chest.
HOLD: Count slowly to 20-30.Repeat stretch twice. Repeat with left arm.


STANCE: Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees slightly bent.aa all over stretch
MOVEMENT: Raise left  arm overhead.  Slowly begin to stretch upward.  Lower left, raise right & repeat, stretching upwards.
HOLD: Count slowly to 20-30. Repeat stretch twice

Next we’ll go into actual training drills to make you faster & stronger.  Now,  I don’t know anything about running, I am a cyclist.  The information I am providing is different things I am learning as I start running.  If you are new to exercise, it is very important to work with your doctor to begin a successful exercise habit.

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Weigh-in this morning was frustrating.  166lbs.  I wanted to be at 160lbs, but I didn’t make it happen.  Made some more poor choices.  Friday was my ‘fructose sensitivity’ test.   Go to aa css mmmmhospital starving, drink 8oz of pure fructose, breath into this capture bag every 15 minutes for 1.5 hr, then every 30 minutes for 2 hrs.  Leave with your stomach cramping with a ‘I am going to starve to death’  feeling.  Race into gift store on way out of hospital, grab 2 cookies & some chocolate.  Drive fast to Chick-Fill-a’s for not one, but two chicken salad on whole wheat sandwiches.  Race home, while eating & pass out for a 2.5 hour nap.

So, no riding Friday.  We did ride 24 miles & ran 2.75 miles Saturday.  Sunday I used some other riders as an excuse to short my long ride, to give my back a rest.  I did 28 miles.  That was probably a good thing.  Joined everyone after the ride & had a large blackberry cobbler with ice cream.  That was definitely a bad thing.  I am 32 days away from the surf/spin event.  Having trouble being positive, but I will do it any way.

And So I Run

runners 7Running is an excellent way to get in shape & lose weight.  For me, it’s a great way to cross-train & burn extra calories.  Having a definable goal makes training better.  It gives you a more finite feeling to your training as well as something to look forward to.  So, The Guy & I are beginning to run.  (no, that is not me or him in the photo)  Actually we’ve been at it since June.  We began with walk/runs, and gradually worked our way up.  I am comfortably at a point where I can run a half mile without stopping.  I do 3 mile runs, walking for 3 minutes at each half mile point.  I don’t include the walking in the distance measured.

A 5K is a good choice for a first race because of its relatively short distance and because it is the most common race distance. There should be no trouble finding a 5K race in your area at most times of the year.  You can race at any time of the year, but for your first one you may want to consider a race in the spring or fall, when the temperatures are mild. Begin training with at least 6-8 weeks of time prior to the event. (If you are starting with walking, add an additional 4 weeks to your training time.)

Try to pick a large race for your first one. A larger field will provide a “party atmosphere” that will help motivate and encourage you. A large field will also make new runners less self conscious about where they finish. The large field will provide plenty of runners in the front, middle and back of the pack.

Easy Runsrunners 2

Beginning a new discipline is most successful when you start easy & plan for long-term success. For those of us learning how to run, we’ll start with easy runs. Easy runs should be run at a pace that feels fairly comfortable. You should be breathing hard, but should be able to carry on a conversation. If you are breathing so hard that you cannot talk, you are running too hard. If you can sing, you are running to easily.  (that is definitely not me in the photo)

You will determine your starting point based on what you have been doing fitness-wise. If you have not been doing any physical activity, you may need to consider walking at first. If you need to do this, use the same mileage distance as what you will be running. Walk briskly to increase your heart strength. As the walking becomes easier, and your ankle ligaments stronger (from the walking) begin to perform walk/run/walk/run training. Every week make the walking portion shorter & the running portion longer.

You will reach a point where you are running most of the way, then finally the whole way. Once you are able to run the entire distance, you can begin speed & hill training. Make sure you don’t move into the speed/hill training before you are ready. This will cause an injury or a weak area in your body that will continue to cause you problems.

Starting out, listen to your body. If you start to experience minor muscle pulls, you may be increasing your distance too fast. By taking it easier in the beginning, you will become a stronger runner in the end. At the same time, make sure you push hard enough to see a slow, steady increase in strength, skill & distance. Don’t be too easy on yourself. Once you begin to feel stronger, you’ll be able to push a little harder.

runners 6All work and no play makes Jill an underperforming athlete.

Build rest & recovery into your training program. Doing a modest amount of good-quality work during an extended rest period can totally prevent fitness fall-offs. Because the intense work preserves fitness or nudges it upward, while the added rest permits the repair of muscle cells and the synthesis of new enzymes, mitochondria, and capillaries – things which make you a better athlete! 

Rest and recovery is not the same as skipping a workout. Successful athletes and fitness enthusiasts on every level build this crucial component into their training programs. While you already know that you have to progressively challenge your body with activity if you want to build your fitness, here’s a surprise: the actual physiological gains occur during rest and recovery!

Use rest and active recovery along with proper exercise training, and you will take your workout efforts to new levels and produce greater results than if you concentrate on working, working working. We aren’t talking skipping training, just find a balance and work out at the right level of effort so that you enhance your training results. We’re talking quality training, rather than quantity training.

Note there are 2 types of rest. Complete rest and easy rest. Both are important to increasing your fitness levels and both are very different. Complete rest is just that. The day you do no physical activity at all. Rest. Period. No matter what your fitness level, you need one full, complete day of rest from training each week.  Then there is easy rest, or active recovery. This is also sometimes called an easy day. You still want to spend the usual time training, but perform at an easier intensity than normal training.  It’s good to follow hard days up with an easy day, giving your muscles time to recover.  So easy days once or twice a week.  Make them scheduled easy days, not “I feel wimpy, so it must be an easy day“.runners 11

While effort is 50 percent of the training equation, restoration and recovery is the other important 50 percent. To see results, you have to work out at a level of effort that challenges your body, whether you’re doing cardio, strength or flexibility training. However, this does not mean that you have to hurt your body or always work out harder to get results. Without rest, both types, you will not reach your true fitness goals.

So there you have it.  The first part of Run Training.  Next we’ll go into stretching properly.  Keep in mind,  I don’t know anything about running, I am a cyclist.  The information I am providing is different things I am learning as I start running.  If you are new to exercise, it is very important to work with your doctor to begin a successful exercise habit.

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I can’t believe it’s been a whole week since I posted.   Work is vying for my attention.  But I am going to stay focused; on the riding, eating 2000 times a day and blogging about it.  I made a commitment to myself.  If I can’t keep commitments to myself, what good am I to any one?  Weigh-in this morning, 166lbs pre-ride, 165lbs post-ride.  This is a very big milestone for me today.  According to my goal chart, I am supposed to be at 158.5lbs.  6.5lbs off track.  I was supposed to be at 165lbs on June 8th.   That’s 3 weeks off track.  Sad, I didn’t stay on track.  But I will focus on the positive.  I’m not 175lbs or even 170lbs.

I remember the last time I weighed 165lbs.  I thought I’d never get back to this.  It’s disheartening in a way, because 165lbs on me is fat.  And that is so unnecessary.  I never should have let it get this out of hand.  But, it is what it is.  Now I want to focus my energy on losing the weight. 

Hey, this will be fun… how about gross fat pictures of me I’m too scared to post anywhere else???  Sure, there is no humility left  once you’ve blogged to the world about your fatness.  Why not!

180lbs b


This was me in May 2009.  180lbs, largest I’ve ever been in my whole life.  It was 88` that day, really hot.  But I was safe, cuz I had my fat clothes on.  Long sleeves & long pants.  Baggy & dark coloured.  It is my hope that I never get to this weight again in my life.

 (oh, and for all you ‘calories in – calories burned=weight loss’ dummies:  That is me, eating 1800 calories a day & riding 175 miles a week.  The only thing that has enabled me to lose the weight is the meds I’m on.  Kinda blows yer little formula all to hell, eh??) 




This is me during the Tour De Cure May 2008.  173lbs, not a pretty sight.  So to those of you still arguing with me that I’m not fat, here’s the proof!





165lbs ok



This is me riding the MS150 in 2006.  161lbs.  That was back when I thought THIS was fat!  Who knew it would get worse.  Wow, look at how thin Guy was then…



The positive.  There are clothes in my closet I have not worn in a long time that now will fit me.  A whole group of ‘fat’ clothes I bought when I first became fat.  I haven’t been able to wear them until now because I was too big.  Making some progress.  It’s little steps, and I am thankful to God for each one of them he grants me..  This is cool.  And look what else I found in my closet this morning:  IMG_1028


Not only did I find it, I also used it.  See the ‘fat-girl’ impressions on the carpet???  I did core training. 1 five-set, 25 repititions group.  And 1 one-minute plank.  It was amazing!



I think it may have been last week I said I was going to start strength & core training.   I have to find some time tonight to do my shoulder workout.  This is one of the last habits I need to build.  Remember back here:  Habits.  I have to find a way to make weight training doable.  I already enjoy it alot, but I haven’t been able to get started with it again.  Post up a comment if you have any idea what it may be.

I had an epiphany last week.  But it’s such a big one, I haven’t had time to write about it.  Maybe later this week…

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Ha!!  It IS official!!!!!  I weigh under 170lbs.  Weigh-in this morning was <drum-roll, please>  ta-da, 167lbs!!!!!  Do you realize just last month, I weighed 179LBS??  I am riding strong every day, with limited carbs, thank you!  This feels really good.

Ok, excitement out of the way, time to curl up with a good blog & enjoy some whine.  AAAAHHHHGGGGG, I don’t want to be fat any more!  I am tired.  It is hot.  I want to be able to ride my bike in a tank top.  I want to wear a sundress.  Do you have any idea how long it has been since I wore a sundress??  I want to drive in my car in a sleeveless shirt & not be sweating like crazy every time I go somewhere.  Right now, I don’t do sleeveless.  I want to wear all my pretty clothes.  I am so tired of being frumpy.

I’d like to walk thru a busy store & know I no longer am ‘the fat blonde, in the black shirt’.  I wear black most of the time, or some other dark color.  I wouldn’t be caught dead in say, a yellow?  I want to wear colors… and white.  White is just not a color that works on me right now- I never knew this.  When you’re thin & tan, white is an amazing color.  When you’re thin, all colors are amazing.

Remember last week when I spoke about the massage thing?  Well, I never went.  Because I feel so gross.  I don’t want anybody rubbing their hands all over my fatness, eww.  I mean, what do I do?  Go in with a list: these are all the places that you better not touch me, got it???  Oh, yeah, that would make for a pleasant, relaxing day.  Not.  I have a $200 gift card from the Watermark downtown.  I can’t bring myself to use it.  Can’t bring myself to go in there as ‘a fat woman’.  I don’t want to gross out the poor masseuse.  Now that I am making some progress, I will save it as a reward.  I’m thinking maybe at 160lbs?  That will be something to work towards.

I want to feel normal.  Fat is not normal.  And for anyone reading, thinking, hey- what’s with that, I’ve been overweight a long time, who does she think SHE is.  With all the love & understanding I can send to you, being overweight isn’t normal.  There is a difference between being a healthy weight & fitting into a size zero jeans.  It is important to be at a healthy weight.  I want to feel good about going out at night to listen to live music.  I love doing that.  We used to go out all the time.  We don’t go anymore.  I don’t do out as a fat woman.  It’s just not any fun.

Oh, yeah, and the big one.  I don’t wanna have fat sex anymore.  Fat sex is no substitute for good sex.  Sorry, Guy, it’s just not.  You have been so good & understanding with this, but I hate it.  I want to feel happy about being naked around my husband.  Around myself, for that matter.  (I don’t even do sleeveless when I’m at the house by myself.)  We don’t do naked at our house.  There always has to be something, a tee, gown, sheet, ya know?  (I know, I know, WAY too much info, sorry)  Feeling good about little things, like leaving the lights on.  Wearing cute things, Guy would so love that.  Did love that.  I don’t think they sell lingerie in plus sizes.  And if they do, it doesn’t matter.  I don’t want to wear lingerie in plus sizes.  I could go on, but you get my point I’m sure.

Ok, I’m done whining.  On to what I really wanted to talk about.  Excuses.  What I am finding out is that just about everyone has this little basket where they keep all their excuses for stuff they should do, but don’t do.  Some of us have these ginormous suitcases, too.  We take it with us every where we go.  As if it would die if we left it unattended for just a moment.  (we probably should leave it somewhere,  but where??)  Your excuse basket has been with you for so long, it’s like an extention of your arm, it’s a part of you.  You probably can’t even see yours.  I can’t see mine, but I know it’s there.

That is one of the problems with the excuse basket.  We aren’t able to see it.  We think, logically of couse, that there are really good reasons why we don’t do the things we should.  A high protein diet?  Sorry, can’t do it.  I need some carbs.  I can’t give up bread.  It’s just a little, it won’t hurt.  Exercise?  Oh, I’d love to, but I don’t have any time.  I have other people to do for, take care of.  Write that book?  Take that class?  Spend time on just me?  Go do the one thing in life that will really make me happy?  We have a carefully crafted excu- no, I mean reason, for everything we don’t do but should.

We all have different words we use.  But not different excuses.  They really are all about the same.  Check it out.  Talk to someone this week about something in their life that they are not doing, but should be.  Listen to what comes back at you.  Excuse.  I am one of the worst.  I am so good at rationalizing my excuses.  Heck, I can convince just about anyone.  So strongly convinced myself- look what happened. 

Remember when I said before that I didn’t get fat overnight?  That is true.  There was a point, when my weight jumped up to 150lbs, that I could have done something.  Straight-away.  I should have looked at what was causing me to eat ice cream every day with Guy.  I was feeling overwhelmed by our new relationship.  And I have to be the one that is always on top of things, I can handle everything.  I’m the go-to person.  The fixer.  Nothing’s wrong.  I’m not scared.  My feelings are in check, just bring me home some Hagen-das, would you.

Like I said before, excuses are insidious.  They slither in, we don’t even see them.  Like Satan tempting Eve in the garden.  We all believe the reasons are valid.  But you know what?  If you are unhealthy, if you are unhappy, if you are unfufilled, something ain’t right.  It’s hard to fix it, because, like I said, we can’t see our own basket.  And all the people around us?  They’re too polite.  They mean well, but it would be helpful, if they just gave it to you straight sometimes. 

Let me show you what I mean.  In April,  I admitted I am fat.  Everyone I talk to disagrees – Oh, no, not you, your not fat. etc.  Once I delt with all the polite naysayers, what happened?  Nothing.  The world didn’t come crashing down around me, the planets didn’t realign with the sun, causing an immediate solar melt down, ending life as we know it.  No, nothing bad happened.  And armed with the truth, I was able to find what is really needed to get my weight to a healthy place.  I became ENPOWERED.  And every day, that is where I live.  Do you know what this gives me?  Well, all those things that I whine about will be gone.  I will live a healthier & happier life, probably a longer life.  That is an incredible thing. 

You know, like Dr. Phil said a long time ago: “How’s that working for you“?  Apply that statement to everything in your life.  I’ve been doing alot of thinking about my excuses lately.  And I think that’s making it easier to see them.  I’ve caught myself, during a beginner bike ride, explaining my really good reason for not riding every day.  Well, I gotta work, ya know.  So, work and ride.  Schedule your time better so you can do both.  If we all looked at our schedules, & I mean reallylooked at our schedules, we would find alot of time that we are wasting. 

Removing cable from my house was so freeing.  As much as I enjoyed it, Law & Order never added anything to my day.  CSI may improve the quality of life for the actors on the show, but it does nothing to my quality of  life.   I get so much more done now.  And I think alot better, too.  You’ve all seen me.  Hey, I’m keeping 20 plates spinning all the time.  It wasn’t like that when I had cable.  Isn’t there like 972 channels now?  Go, get up, get outside, breath, go do something fun.  Figure out what you want to do and do it now.  We ain’t gonna be here forever.

We also need to understand, we can’t conquer excuses on our own.  You can’t battle something you can’t see.  Find someone that loves you enough to tell you every time you offer up excuses and get off track.  If you’ve got them, use your kids.  They are the absolute best at cutting straight through your BS and being brutily honest.  I don’t know if they are better at seeing black & white, or if they’re just eager to get you back for all that discipline you gave them.  But either way, they’re the best.  I don’t know, if you don’t have any kids, maybe you can borrow a friend’s or something.

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<chair-dancing & singing ‘Oh, happy day!’> Weigh-in this morning was 168lbs.  Last night, after the brick, I actually weighed in at 167lbs, but that was water weight loss fluctuation.  Wow, this really feels good.  This coming Monday, my goal weight is supposed to be 163lbs.  If I stay on track this weekend, I could conceivably be at 165lbs.  That seems very do-able.  That will mean my little fruit experiment will not cost as much as I originally thought.  Thank goodness.

Quick chart, because it will make me happy:

     This week                    Last week

M        174                               174

T          173                              174

W         171                             173

Th         168                             172

F            167                             175

I have been doing really well with the eating 200 cal every 2 hours for 7 meals a day.  (at 10am & 4pm, it increases to 400 cal.)  I’m starting to get used to the cycle.  It is very time-consuming coupled with the daily riding and my work is suffering a little from it, but I have made the decision to make an investment in myself.  It is somewhat scary having just started a new business last year.  I’ve had to put the second business I wanted to start on the back-burner for a couple of months.  I have days where I think ‘are you crazy’?????  Have you seen the stats for failed businesses in the first year???  What in the world are you thinking???

But then I take a step back and look at my life.  The rest of my life.  What do I want it to look like, in the end?  I am so happy & proud that I own my own business.  When you look at where I started in life, it is pretty amazing.  I have 10 weeks left on this diet.  Weeks.  I just spent 3 years being fat & unhealthy.  Years.  I think I can invest 10 weeks to get to a healthy weight & then go back to being a closet workaholic.  From there, the plan is to learn to successfully manage my health, which will include my weight. 

I’m trying to age gracefully.  Carrying excess weight is hard on joints & keeps people less mobile as they get older.  It also adds to cancer, heart disease and a myriad of other issues.  I am making a decision to be responsible with my quality of life.  Work will still be there in 10 weeks, my business will be there in 10 weeks.  I am not going to lose all the money we invested in this business.  I will be ok.

Both times last week, when I ate fruit, my weight jumped up.  It may be that I am sensitive to fructose, but I am going to wait to be tested by a doctor before I attach the label.  With the wheat allergy I have, there is no simple test.  I’ve had to remove & reintroduce wheat products into my diet & track my body’s reaction several times.  After doing that for 3 years, it’s safe to say, I have a wheat allergy.

I am metabolically resistant.  I don’t lose weight like other people.  I will have to learn to listen to my body very carefully and build a healthy, life-long eating plan.  The first step is to lose the weight.  After that, find a way to eat large quantities of fruits & veggies to ward off scary stuff like cancer. 

If I had to choose between having cancer again & being fat,  I would happily weigh 300lbs and eat whatever I could to keep my body cancer-free.  I’m going to try & find a way to be at a healthy weight & have the proper nutrients to protect me.  That’s why the silly experiment with fruit last week.  It’s scary eating a diet that you know doesn’t have the proper nutrients to ward off scary stuff like cancer.  I had hoped I could have restricted my calorie intake and eaten alot of fruit & veggies, excersized like a crazy person,  while still losing the weight.  That is not going to happen.

Did you know, in the scientific experiments, they don’t use real fruit on the rats.  They use a highly concentrated powder from fruit.  You know what bothers me?  They’ve been doing things like that for 10+ years.  The rats have consistently shown a reduction in cancer, in experiment after experiment.  But we have no access to this fruit powder.  There isn’t even any plan to ever manufacture this fruit powder for human consumption.  And every day, more people are dying from cancer.  Seems to me, the medical industry, pharmaco-gods & scientists aren’t really interested in ‘curing’ cancer.  Look at how many economies are dependent on treatment, not cures.  San Antonio is a perfect example.

Well, there’s a rant I do not have time for today…  I have a client waiting for me.

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