Posts Tagged ‘lethargic’

Weigh-in this morning was frustrating.  166lbs.  I wanted to be at 160lbs, but I didn’t make it happen.  Made some more poor choices.  Friday was my ‘fructose sensitivity’ test.   Go to aa css mmmmhospital starving, drink 8oz of pure fructose, breath into this capture bag every 15 minutes for 1.5 hr, then every 30 minutes for 2 hrs.  Leave with your stomach cramping with a ‘I am going to starve to death’  feeling.  Race into gift store on way out of hospital, grab 2 cookies & some chocolate.  Drive fast to Chick-Fill-a’s for not one, but two chicken salad on whole wheat sandwiches.  Race home, while eating & pass out for a 2.5 hour nap.

So, no riding Friday.  We did ride 24 miles & ran 2.75 miles Saturday.  Sunday I used some other riders as an excuse to short my long ride, to give my back a rest.  I did 28 miles.  That was probably a good thing.  Joined everyone after the ride & had a large blackberry cobbler with ice cream.  That was definitely a bad thing.  I am 32 days away from the surf/spin event.  Having trouble being positive, but I will do it any way.

And So I Run

runners 7Running is an excellent way to get in shape & lose weight.  For me, it’s a great way to cross-train & burn extra calories.  Having a definable goal makes training better.  It gives you a more finite feeling to your training as well as something to look forward to.  So, The Guy & I are beginning to run.  (no, that is not me or him in the photo)  Actually we’ve been at it since June.  We began with walk/runs, and gradually worked our way up.  I am comfortably at a point where I can run a half mile without stopping.  I do 3 mile runs, walking for 3 minutes at each half mile point.  I don’t include the walking in the distance measured.

A 5K is a good choice for a first race because of its relatively short distance and because it is the most common race distance. There should be no trouble finding a 5K race in your area at most times of the year.  You can race at any time of the year, but for your first one you may want to consider a race in the spring or fall, when the temperatures are mild. Begin training with at least 6-8 weeks of time prior to the event. (If you are starting with walking, add an additional 4 weeks to your training time.)

Try to pick a large race for your first one. A larger field will provide a “party atmosphere” that will help motivate and encourage you. A large field will also make new runners less self conscious about where they finish. The large field will provide plenty of runners in the front, middle and back of the pack.

Easy Runsrunners 2

Beginning a new discipline is most successful when you start easy & plan for long-term success. For those of us learning how to run, we’ll start with easy runs. Easy runs should be run at a pace that feels fairly comfortable. You should be breathing hard, but should be able to carry on a conversation. If you are breathing so hard that you cannot talk, you are running too hard. If you can sing, you are running to easily.  (that is definitely not me in the photo)

You will determine your starting point based on what you have been doing fitness-wise. If you have not been doing any physical activity, you may need to consider walking at first. If you need to do this, use the same mileage distance as what you will be running. Walk briskly to increase your heart strength. As the walking becomes easier, and your ankle ligaments stronger (from the walking) begin to perform walk/run/walk/run training. Every week make the walking portion shorter & the running portion longer.

You will reach a point where you are running most of the way, then finally the whole way. Once you are able to run the entire distance, you can begin speed & hill training. Make sure you don’t move into the speed/hill training before you are ready. This will cause an injury or a weak area in your body that will continue to cause you problems.

Starting out, listen to your body. If you start to experience minor muscle pulls, you may be increasing your distance too fast. By taking it easier in the beginning, you will become a stronger runner in the end. At the same time, make sure you push hard enough to see a slow, steady increase in strength, skill & distance. Don’t be too easy on yourself. Once you begin to feel stronger, you’ll be able to push a little harder.

runners 6All work and no play makes Jill an underperforming athlete.

Build rest & recovery into your training program. Doing a modest amount of good-quality work during an extended rest period can totally prevent fitness fall-offs. Because the intense work preserves fitness or nudges it upward, while the added rest permits the repair of muscle cells and the synthesis of new enzymes, mitochondria, and capillaries – things which make you a better athlete! 

Rest and recovery is not the same as skipping a workout. Successful athletes and fitness enthusiasts on every level build this crucial component into their training programs. While you already know that you have to progressively challenge your body with activity if you want to build your fitness, here’s a surprise: the actual physiological gains occur during rest and recovery!

Use rest and active recovery along with proper exercise training, and you will take your workout efforts to new levels and produce greater results than if you concentrate on working, working working. We aren’t talking skipping training, just find a balance and work out at the right level of effort so that you enhance your training results. We’re talking quality training, rather than quantity training.

Note there are 2 types of rest. Complete rest and easy rest. Both are important to increasing your fitness levels and both are very different. Complete rest is just that. The day you do no physical activity at all. Rest. Period. No matter what your fitness level, you need one full, complete day of rest from training each week.  Then there is easy rest, or active recovery. This is also sometimes called an easy day. You still want to spend the usual time training, but perform at an easier intensity than normal training.  It’s good to follow hard days up with an easy day, giving your muscles time to recover.  So easy days once or twice a week.  Make them scheduled easy days, not “I feel wimpy, so it must be an easy day“.runners 11

While effort is 50 percent of the training equation, restoration and recovery is the other important 50 percent. To see results, you have to work out at a level of effort that challenges your body, whether you’re doing cardio, strength or flexibility training. However, this does not mean that you have to hurt your body or always work out harder to get results. Without rest, both types, you will not reach your true fitness goals.

So there you have it.  The first part of Run Training.  Next we’ll go into stretching properly.  Keep in mind,  I don’t know anything about running, I am a cyclist.  The information I am providing is different things I am learning as I start running.  If you are new to exercise, it is very important to work with your doctor to begin a successful exercise habit.


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I can’t believe it’s been a whole week since I posted.   Work is vying for my attention.  But I am going to stay focused; on the riding, eating 2000 times a day and blogging about it.  I made a commitment to myself.  If I can’t keep commitments to myself, what good am I to any one?  Weigh-in this morning, 166lbs pre-ride, 165lbs post-ride.  This is a very big milestone for me today.  According to my goal chart, I am supposed to be at 158.5lbs.  6.5lbs off track.  I was supposed to be at 165lbs on June 8th.   That’s 3 weeks off track.  Sad, I didn’t stay on track.  But I will focus on the positive.  I’m not 175lbs or even 170lbs.

I remember the last time I weighed 165lbs.  I thought I’d never get back to this.  It’s disheartening in a way, because 165lbs on me is fat.  And that is so unnecessary.  I never should have let it get this out of hand.  But, it is what it is.  Now I want to focus my energy on losing the weight. 

Hey, this will be fun… how about gross fat pictures of me I’m too scared to post anywhere else???  Sure, there is no humility left  once you’ve blogged to the world about your fatness.  Why not!

180lbs b


This was me in May 2009.  180lbs, largest I’ve ever been in my whole life.  It was 88` that day, really hot.  But I was safe, cuz I had my fat clothes on.  Long sleeves & long pants.  Baggy & dark coloured.  It is my hope that I never get to this weight again in my life.

 (oh, and for all you ‘calories in – calories burned=weight loss’ dummies:  That is me, eating 1800 calories a day & riding 175 miles a week.  The only thing that has enabled me to lose the weight is the meds I’m on.  Kinda blows yer little formula all to hell, eh??) 




This is me during the Tour De Cure May 2008.  173lbs, not a pretty sight.  So to those of you still arguing with me that I’m not fat, here’s the proof!





165lbs ok



This is me riding the MS150 in 2006.  161lbs.  That was back when I thought THIS was fat!  Who knew it would get worse.  Wow, look at how thin Guy was then…



The positive.  There are clothes in my closet I have not worn in a long time that now will fit me.  A whole group of ‘fat’ clothes I bought when I first became fat.  I haven’t been able to wear them until now because I was too big.  Making some progress.  It’s little steps, and I am thankful to God for each one of them he grants me..  This is cool.  And look what else I found in my closet this morning:  IMG_1028


Not only did I find it, I also used it.  See the ‘fat-girl’ impressions on the carpet???  I did core training. 1 five-set, 25 repititions group.  And 1 one-minute plank.  It was amazing!



I think it may have been last week I said I was going to start strength & core training.   I have to find some time tonight to do my shoulder workout.  This is one of the last habits I need to build.  Remember back here:  Habits.  I have to find a way to make weight training doable.  I already enjoy it alot, but I haven’t been able to get started with it again.  Post up a comment if you have any idea what it may be.

I had an epiphany last week.  But it’s such a big one, I haven’t had time to write about it.  Maybe later this week…

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It’s Monday again.  Trudging along, one step after another.  Weigh in for this morning is 167lbs.  I am supposed to be 160.75lbs today.  Almost 7 pounds off.  I am thinking about what to do with that.  I am 3 weeks off.  This is what I should have weighed on June 1st.  Do I continue forward being behind, knowing in the back of my mind that I’m off track.  Do I reset my dates & weights  to reflect where I am at today?  I don’t know what to do.  I wish someone would leave a comment on which they think I should do & why.

More Hype, More Bullsh*t:

Did you see the government changed to food pyramid?  Yes, here it is.

New One food-pyramid new











Old One  Food-Pyramid old



Oooo0hh, it’s so pretty with all the bright primary colors.  Do you see the differences?  Grain, cereal & pasta is still the largest group.  I don’t understand why they wasted,I mean spent, all that tax money without doing any substantive research on the problems causing obesity.  Cereals & pasta, flour & breads are what is causing the majority of metabolic problems & overweight issues.  They didn’t even spend any money researching that.

Aahh, that excellent math formula.    With this, they don’t have to do any research at all on metabolic changes due to food types.  No discussion on how insulin works in our bodies and how that can be strongly impacted by types of food ingested:

food pyramid scale1


There is no factual, unbiased scientific data that supports calories in minus calories burned equals weight loss – every time.  No where does the government allocate any of our money to do proper research for that either.  See, I do believe we have a problem with obesity in America.  But instead of beating up on all the overweight people because they are gluttons that are too damn lazy to lose weight, they should be doing better research to understand what dietary changes are causing such a wide spread problem.

I suspect one reason they don’t is because they are too corporate-friendly.  I read something earlier today that the government research shows Nesquik is a healthy choice of beverage for kids.  Since 50 percent of kids don’t get enough calcium***, Nesquik is a great solution that parents can rely on to get more calcium in their kids’ diet.  Each serving of Nesquik provides all of the nutrition of milk, plus it is specially fortified with essential bone building nutrients such as calcium, Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, Zinc and Biotin.   No where does it discuss the harmfulness of amping your kids up on that much refined sugar.  Look at how much trouble they have discussing how bad fruit juices are due to the refined sugar content.

What can we do about this???

We have some really great things happening.  Twitter, facebook, blogs.  Especially blogs.  I was so impressed to see what a strong vehicle blogs can be for getting new ideas out.  But can we direct the benefits?  Can someone blog about something and really gain media attention?  I wonder about this.  I wonder if regular people will be able to talk about something in a blog and really get a large number of people interested.  Would the media attention really foster changes in say, the food industry, or the government?

You all remember the documetary “Super-Size Me”.  

‘Coincidentally (not) shortly after Super Size Me was released, McDonald’s announced it was going to discontinue it’s Super Size menu. They of course denied it had anything to do with the film.’

So, this brought a small change.  But my husband just told me he thinks they still do some form of super-sizing.  We have a really great thing here in America, we are consumers.  But we have forgotten that is where our strength lies.  Our ability to NOT buy certain products.  What if we were able to organize a tweet up, post info on facebook & advertise it on blogs and hundreds of thousands of people all over the US didn’t go into, say, McDonalds for a day, (or  a week).  And the blog ad could explain that we were doing it to motivate the company to make real changes to their poisonous food.

Could we find a way to influence researchers to do more accurate studies on the relationship to food type & metabolic changes caused by them on a molecular level.  Find a real answer to why so many people cannot lose weight from a normal, healthy lifestyle.

What are your thoughts?????


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Weigh-in 172lbs.  And I’m actually feeling good about that.  Getting down to 167lbs last week shows me that I am losing, I am able to lose.  It makes me feel good.  Even though I am keeping what may seem like a rigid time-line for this weight loss, I know that it’s not going to be a straight, consistent downhill line.  Little ups & downs are expected.

Yesterday was a cheat day.  This is an old body-building secret.  On a high-protein, quality carb diet you have to find little ways to shock your metabolism so it doesn’t get stuck.  Every two weeks,  you have a ‘cheat’ meal.  So yesterday I had eggs for breakfast,  eggs & oysters for dinner and for lunch I had a ‘normal’ meal.  High calorie (2200 cal), Southwest vegetable roll, spinach artichoke dip with chips and chocolate cake & ice cream.  We ate at Alexanders in the Quarry.  And sure enough, this morning my eyes were practically swollen shut, ankles & feet super puffy & it was really hard to breathe.  It was funny!!  The joys of food allergies.  Total calorie intake for the day was 2600 cal.  That’s only 800 calories more than usual.

Today we make changes and do modifications.  I am going to attempt to take my calories to 1600 daily.  I’m trying really hard not to throw my body into thinking I’m starving.  Keep in mind, I ride A LOT.  I’ve dropped my calorie intake too far down too fast before with similar amounts of exercise and my metabolism slowed WAY down.  So the change is: my 10am & 4pm meals will drop to 300 cal, which lowers the total for the day to 1600 cal.

This week begins mandatory core training & adding weight training.  I have been dreading this for 2 reasons.  One- It seems I’ve lost all my weight-training discipline.  Two- The riding & eating constantly already takes alot of time.  I am going to really have to trim time wasters & become better at time management.  I am trying to stay focused on the fact that it is ok to make short-term sacrifices to improve my overall well being & health.  Truth be told, I just don’t make a happy fat person.  To get started on my changes, I have to do core training for 10 minutes twice every day this week.  Today I will work out my shoulders for 45min-1hr.  That is all I have to do.  <speaking to myself>  That is all you have to do, get to the end of this day having done just those 3 things.  Please.

What Monday would be complete without a rant. 

Imagine, if you will, stumbling onto an Alcoholics Acceptance Support Group blog.  Reading through the posts and comments you find all these people with unhealthy drinking habits that refuse to go to AA meetings because it doesn’t make them feel better about themselves.  After all, any effective AA program is going to require a person to be responsible with their illness, work towards improving their physical & emotional health, along with some level of moderate success.  Right?  The program would be considered a failure if it didn’t require some accountability from the participants. 

But that makes these people feel bad about themselves.  After all, it’s not ‘their’ fault they have this problem.  They have a family history of alcoholism, and we live in such a toxic world.  It’s really difficult for them to get better.  Shrouded in emotional issues that they can’t help, they need someone to understand them, to accept them.  And they are fed up with all of those hateful, non-alcoholic people trying to give them advice, telling them it’s easy to stop drinking.  So they build a safe haven, an acceptance blog.  A place where they can all go and ‘support‘ one another with their drinking.  

If you read through the rules, no one is allowed to post anything about a possible solution, or to give advice on lifting themselves out of their circumstances.  Do not threaten their victim status.  Their single committed focus is on acceptance.  Love them for their disease, or go away.  Besides, they’re not really unhealthy.  They have just chosen to live their lives to different standards.  And the rest of the world needs to accept that. 

Because we are talking about alcoholism,  the above 2 paragraphs sound ludicrous.  Alcoholics need to understand there are ways to remedy their addiction to alcoholism.  They need to know their family & friends aren’t trying to be mean, they’re trying to get them healthy.  But if you change the topic from alcoholism to obesity, everything gets turned around and suddenly I am being mean for even bringing it up.

Sorry to rant, but I just don’t get it.  I’m talking about the myriad of Fat Acceptance Support Group blogs that I found last week.  Blog after blog after blog, they all scream victim in a loud, shrilling voice.  I know I have no right to even talk about these people, or their blogs, having lived almost all my life being thin & beautiful.  I should be ashamed of myself.  But like I said, I don’t get it.  I had a really not good, bad-bad childhood.  From all accounts I could have left home & spent the rest of my life trapped in addiction, pity & excuseable failure.  Upon hearing the circumstances of my childhood, most people would have said it was understandable for that to happen.  Heck, one of my sisters did just that.  And we don’t blame her, we all understand the emotional issues she had to live with.  We accept her.  (she has acceptance, but not happiness)

By the same token, I have another sister.  She did not allow her circumstances to hold her back.  She did a truly amazing job of overcoming our circumstances and moving on to build a happy, successful life.  She did a much better job than I did.  She has been an inspiration to me all of my adult life.  You see, we are survivors.  When you are faced with something bad, you have 2 choices.  You can crawl into a fetal position & give up or you can stand up & fight, face your limitations and be an overcomer. 

I wasn’t about to let my difficult start in life get the best of me, no way.  I stumbled around for years tripping over my problems caused by my difficult childhood.  And every time, I picked myself back up, pointed myself in the right direction and started out again.  Knowing full well I was going to have to do it all again in a short period of time.  But I also knew that every time I did, so long as I kept moving forward, I was getting somewhere.  Every step brought me further away from my problems.  I refused to give up. 

I apply that same method to being fat.  I refuse  to accept it.  I won’t play the victim in my own life, that role doesn’t work for me.  I am going to demand better, from myself and from those around me.  My ultimate happiness is not dependent on people accepting  my problems.  It depends on me taking responsibility and overcoming  my problems.  Sorry, but I am tired of overweight people assuming it’s only hard for them.  Let me tell you a little secret, it’s hard for everyone.  Success is 100% results based.  We don’t get credit for trying, we get credit for making it happen.  And if you feel that’s an unfair playing field, then gather up your marbles and go home.  Because this is how the world works.

I don’t make the rules, I just live by them.  All the while, figuring out how to achieve my goals within the confines of rules I didn’t make.  And I totally accept you.  I accept that you have chosen to be overweight.  I accept that you gave up when it got hard.    You see, the world doesn’t hate you because you’re fat, the world just doesn’t care.  The world cares only about achievement and bottom-line results. 

I live in the same world you do.  I know the world isn’t going to accept me.  You’re right about one thing, we are never thin enough, beautiful enough, rich enough, smart enough, young enough.  None of us will ever measure up.  None of us are good enough for the world’s standards.  But the difference between you & me is I don’t allow the world to dictate my value.  I dictate my value.  Fat acceptance seems to be more about the overweight person not being able to accept themselves.  The hate appears to be coming from within.  Crying out about how hard life is, how mean everyone is.  How no one understands them.  How unfair it all is- to them.

Jeez, I wish the hardest thing I ever had to overcome in my life was a weight problem.  Unfortunately for me, that was not the case.   Many people are dealing with emotional problems.  Overweight people haven’t cornered that market.  Maybe you just need to learn some acceptance.  The world is hard – for everyone.  Accept it.  I think the best solution I can offer is for you to take a class, get some bridge-building skills.  Draw up some plans, acknowledge it’s going to be hard.  Build that bridge and…

get over it.  That’s what the rest of us had to do.


**Disclaimer** – Many of you that know me may be confused at my assertive tone in the above post.  Let me give you some insight to the world of FA, from my perspective.  This post is just a guy talking about why he is bothered by FA blogs:  http://unfatblog.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/two-faces-of-fat-acceptance/.  He does a better job explaining things than I do.  This next blog kinda highlights the anger & meanness of the FAbloggers: http://kateharding.net/comments-policy/.  She’s pretty vulgar & rude.  That’s gotta be more than just being overweight.  The joy & energy they take in putting someone in their place is what got me upset in the first place.  April & I have had a chance to ‘talk’ at each other,   we both come from very different perspectives, but I think we are making headway with each other, as evidenced here:   http://roundshape.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/fun-and-hair/   and here:  http://roundshape.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/what-does-time-change/  (scroll all the way to the bottom of that one).  You can see in her ‘well-crafted’ response how defensive she is towards me, though I hadn’t even attacked her.  Instead of just speaking from the heart, she has to work at trying to diminish me to her blog-followers.  I am gaining an understanding of her defensiveness, so I crossed that line out.  April is at least one that is making an attempt at listening to others perspectives.  I appreciate that.

For many of the other blogs, it is still alot of bitterness & anger.  Is that an example of the ‘loving’ attitude they want us to exhibit towards them?  I had hoped I could have engaged in useful conversation with women that had more experience with being overweight, that I could gain a healthy understanding of what to look for, how to succeed.  They are far too closed off to offer any insight.  They take offense at just about everything that isn’t blatant agreement with them.  They are just downright unfriendly, simply stated.  They mistake power for aggression.  I really dislike when women do that.  It makes it harder on the rest of us.  People aren’t going to take their demands for acceptance seriously mingled with such anger & mean-spiritedness.  They will do more harm for their ’cause’ than good.  But don’t try to explain it to them.  They already have it all figured out.  How sad.

(edited on June 19th, 2009)

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<chair-dancing & singing ‘Oh, happy day!’> Weigh-in this morning was 168lbs.  Last night, after the brick, I actually weighed in at 167lbs, but that was water weight loss fluctuation.  Wow, this really feels good.  This coming Monday, my goal weight is supposed to be 163lbs.  If I stay on track this weekend, I could conceivably be at 165lbs.  That seems very do-able.  That will mean my little fruit experiment will not cost as much as I originally thought.  Thank goodness.

Quick chart, because it will make me happy:

     This week                    Last week

M        174                               174

T          173                              174

W         171                             173

Th         168                             172

F            167                             175

I have been doing really well with the eating 200 cal every 2 hours for 7 meals a day.  (at 10am & 4pm, it increases to 400 cal.)  I’m starting to get used to the cycle.  It is very time-consuming coupled with the daily riding and my work is suffering a little from it, but I have made the decision to make an investment in myself.  It is somewhat scary having just started a new business last year.  I’ve had to put the second business I wanted to start on the back-burner for a couple of months.  I have days where I think ‘are you crazy’?????  Have you seen the stats for failed businesses in the first year???  What in the world are you thinking???

But then I take a step back and look at my life.  The rest of my life.  What do I want it to look like, in the end?  I am so happy & proud that I own my own business.  When you look at where I started in life, it is pretty amazing.  I have 10 weeks left on this diet.  Weeks.  I just spent 3 years being fat & unhealthy.  Years.  I think I can invest 10 weeks to get to a healthy weight & then go back to being a closet workaholic.  From there, the plan is to learn to successfully manage my health, which will include my weight. 

I’m trying to age gracefully.  Carrying excess weight is hard on joints & keeps people less mobile as they get older.  It also adds to cancer, heart disease and a myriad of other issues.  I am making a decision to be responsible with my quality of life.  Work will still be there in 10 weeks, my business will be there in 10 weeks.  I am not going to lose all the money we invested in this business.  I will be ok.

Both times last week, when I ate fruit, my weight jumped up.  It may be that I am sensitive to fructose, but I am going to wait to be tested by a doctor before I attach the label.  With the wheat allergy I have, there is no simple test.  I’ve had to remove & reintroduce wheat products into my diet & track my body’s reaction several times.  After doing that for 3 years, it’s safe to say, I have a wheat allergy.

I am metabolically resistant.  I don’t lose weight like other people.  I will have to learn to listen to my body very carefully and build a healthy, life-long eating plan.  The first step is to lose the weight.  After that, find a way to eat large quantities of fruits & veggies to ward off scary stuff like cancer. 

If I had to choose between having cancer again & being fat,  I would happily weigh 300lbs and eat whatever I could to keep my body cancer-free.  I’m going to try & find a way to be at a healthy weight & have the proper nutrients to protect me.  That’s why the silly experiment with fruit last week.  It’s scary eating a diet that you know doesn’t have the proper nutrients to ward off scary stuff like cancer.  I had hoped I could have restricted my calorie intake and eaten alot of fruit & veggies, excersized like a crazy person,  while still losing the weight.  That is not going to happen.

Did you know, in the scientific experiments, they don’t use real fruit on the rats.  They use a highly concentrated powder from fruit.  You know what bothers me?  They’ve been doing things like that for 10+ years.  The rats have consistently shown a reduction in cancer, in experiment after experiment.  But we have no access to this fruit powder.  There isn’t even any plan to ever manufacture this fruit powder for human consumption.  And every day, more people are dying from cancer.  Seems to me, the medical industry, pharmaco-gods & scientists aren’t really interested in ‘curing’ cancer.  Look at how many economies are dependent on treatment, not cures.  San Antonio is a perfect example.

Well, there’s a rant I do not have time for today…  I have a client waiting for me.

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How do you come back from a day like Friday?  I’ll start with an update.  Yesterday I weighed in at 174lbs.  This morning, 173lbs.  My initial chart  had my goal for yesterday at 165lbs.  I am 9lbs off.  I will have to add that 9lbs to the 10 weeks remaining to wash it out.  So, now I have the very difficult task of having to add 1 additional pound to each week.  On a schedule that is already not working.  The next 2 weeks will determine whether I need to extend my dieting time or not. 

The chart shows I have to be at 163lbs by this coming Monday.  I will not lose 11lbs in one week, but that is ok.  So long as I can get to a point where I’m losing 1 or 2 pounds a week.  Gaining weight with all this dieting got the better of me last week.  But I am not going to give up.

Since Saturday I have been strongly back on the ‘correct‘ diet.  High-protein, quality carbs.  No Fruit!!  I will be able to eat fruit in September, just not now.  I read over some previous posts and I gotta tell you, they are pretty boring.  Sorry for that.  In an attempt to maintain my focus, I have to get bogged down in details that are just not that entertaining.  Bear with me, it’s all up from here…

Sorting through the myths & hype.  That is starting to look like one of the most important aspects of why dieting is so difficult.  Most people I know are relatively reasonable individuals.  I think if we have facts to go by, we will make smart choices.  It seems as though the higher health-care costs become, the more willing people are to make healthy choices.  Look at how many of us are beginning to quit smoking.  So many people I know are exercising more and eating better food.  I believe it is our nature to take control & work for successful outcomes.  That becomes very difficult when we can’t get true, accurate information.  We walk down these successions of dead-ends.  We jump from one fad to another.  The only consistance we seemingly can find is that none of it is true.

The industry has gotten so deceptive.  They will cloak it in whatever they can to get us to buy it.  Government reports, medical studies and the like.  There is a true, black & white answer to our out-of-control weight problem.  And it’s not in all the hype they are force-feeding us.  I don’t have the answer yet, but it has something to do with metabolism.  Our body’s natural survival system. 

When you modify your metabolism through diet, it takes a few weeks for the changes to occur.  It’s kinda like when the DR gives you certain medicines, how they take several weeks to start to work.  This is true of thyroid medicines, as well as SSRI’s & DRI’s.  Drugs that affect our hormone levels.  So that leads me to postulate the same is true of dietary changes.  (yeah, I know, you’re cringing because I used the word postulate & I’m not even a scientist.)

The acceptance of postulation is one of the issues.  Postulate – pos‧tu‧late – its both a noun & a verb.  As a noun:

  1. Something assumed without proof as being self-evident or generally accepted, especially when used as a basis for an argument.  2.  A fundamental element; a basic principle. (logic) An axiom.  3.  A requirement; a prerequisite

As a verb:  to postulate (third-person singular simple present postulates, present participle postulating, simple past and past participle postulated) 

  1. To assume as a truthful or accurate premise or axiom, especially as a basis of an argument.  2.  To appoint or request one’s appointment to an ecclesiastical office.  3.To request, demand or claim for oneself.

It’s a great word, I just never understood why it became an accepted practice of scientists & doctors.  At it’s root, it means to assume.  When did assumptions become facts.  Look at all of your weight-loss facts.  They are not rooted in scientific accuracies, merely assumptions.  No wonder we can’t get any of it to work.

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Last Monday was exciting, today is devastating.  I’m supposed to be at 167.5lbs.  I weighed in this morning at 174lbs.  Next Monday I need to be at 165lbs.  Yeah, I know- it’s all water weight.  Whatever…

The reason I spent so much energy talking about this weekend last week was because I knew this was going to happen.  I wanted to be prepared.  I’m too early into it to be able to not exercise for 2 days & lose weight.  Plus, I made some mistakes.  That is what this blog is for, to isolate my mistakes and learn from them.  To stumble and find the resolve to keep going.  To be defeated and pick myself back up.  To change the outcome in spite of the mistakes.  I needed to get hyper-focused on it so I didn’t make too many bad choices.  The problem is I made 2 little, but devastating mistakes.  Now it’s going to be really hard.

The difficulty is that I am in week 3.  At week 3, your body figures out what you are doing and changes your metabolism to adjust to the change in calorie reduction and increased exercise.  So how much you can lose through the course of a week slows dramatically.  It is devastating to me because the difference between 174lbs & 167lbs is 1 whole clothing size.  That opens me up to a new world of possibilities.  And one of the things I’m using to motivate myself is being able to fit into my clothes again.   If you read earlier posts, I only have 3 outfits for this size.  I refuse to buy any more.  So, I only have 3 changes of clothes.  It’s been like this since last summer.  That’s why I’m always wearing the same clothes when you see me.  That was my desperate attempt to regain control of my weight.  That was my whole game plan – no wonder I failed.  Ha!!

I may not be able to make up the 7lbs for several weeks now that I am more metabolically resistant.  It throws everything off.  But I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.  But let me get on to the mistakes, that’s what you want to read about. 

So, we packed up the cooler with lots of good choices, no convenient store stops for us.  That was really helpful.  We had tuna & oysters, cheese & fruit, nuts & sunflower seeds.  All in single-serve, 200 calorie baggies.  Therein lies mistake number one.

I know you are rereading that last part, trying to fiure it out.  No mention of bread, potatoes, pasta, chocolate cake, no chocolate & no cake.  No ice cream, fudge, potato chips, twinkies, ding-dongs, slim-jims.  Sounded like good, healthy foods, what was the mistake??  What, you ask??  The fruit & the nuts. 

The weird thing is- I ate the fruit knowing it was going to cause problems.  I’m sitting here eating cherries right now as I write this.  And my body is responding already, just like Saturday.  Within the last 5 minutes, my stomach has swollen so much I look 4 months pregnant.  5 minutes – that’s how fast it happens.  I don’t know what causes it.  I am eating the cherries today as an experiment.  Over the weekend, I ate fruit with nuts & cheese.  So, I didn’t know which was causing the problems.  Today, I am eating a small amount (20 cherries) to see what happens.  Wow, my stomach hurts.

I’m doing this because I have food allergies.  I’m doing this because I can’t get my doctor to listen to me.  The doctors write my physical reaction off as IBS – irritable bowel syndrome.  And they have all kinds of great medications for you to take for it.  Zelnorm & Lotronex are the lastest IBS drugs, or sometimes they prescribed an anti-spasmodic drug, a low-dose antidepressant or anti-diarrheal.  (They write my conversation about food allergies off as insanity & OCD.)  Have you read the side effects for some of these medicines?  It is scary.  They will tell you there is nothing else you can do for IBS except medicate.  And that is total BS.

Have you ever seen anyone with strawberry allergies eat strawberries.  Within 20 minutes, they break out in a rash.  People with peanut allergies, they get respiratory symptoms almost immediately.  These people are not put on dangerous, lifetime medicine treatments.  They are simply told not to eat strawberries & nuts.  I am allergic to wheat & starches like potatoes & rice.  When I eat them, my intestines & stomach swell tremendously for several hours & my insulin levels go crazy.  This causes my body to become a super fat-storing machine.  So, I don’t eat them.  And I don’t have problems, without the medications.  But most doctors won’t tell you this… I don’t understand why, but that’s a whole other blog.

I was really surprised last week when I ate some fruit & nuts and had the same reaction.  I usually eat fruit with the other foods I mentioned, so I didn’t know it was a problem.  This weekend I brought fruit, nuts & cheese to keep me from eating candy & cookies from the convenience stores.  That worked.  But, it caused my metabolism to slow.  I kept getting sleepy & cranky.  And the crazy swelling.  Because I ate the fruit with the nuts & cheese, I couldn’t tell which caused the problem.  Now I know it was the fruit. 

I won’t eat nuts again until I’ve lost the weight because the carbs are the wrong kind.  With the diet I am on, I can only eat dark, green vegetable carbs.  That, with the protein, causes my body to burn fat & my metabolism to remain steady.  I am trying to stay away from cheese because it’s too high in fat for the amount of protein it has.  I keep talking about this because it helps me stay on track.  Blah blah, blah…

Yes, I said 2 problems, but the second one is a no-brainer.  Saturday, we were in San Marcos.  It was dinner time & we were hungry.  Not many choices.  We opted for Logan’s.  Steak & shrimp.  It wasn’t bad in the sense that we ate the bad foods.  Actually we did real good.  We made the waitress take the bread off the table & didn’t order potatoes.  Aside from the peanuts, it wasn’t that bad.  Steak, shrimp, onions & mushrooms.  (the onions had a ton of sugar in them) But the calorie count was high.  I’m guessing around 1000 calories.  Too many calories for just one meal. 

Sunday, we were in Buda.   We went to Chili’s.  I had the southwest eggrolls, 900 calories and 59 grams of carbs.  I got really sleepy & cranky after eating that.  Never again.  Restaurants are always hard for me.  I don’t eat lettuce, so won’t have a salad unless they have spinach or spring greens.  Most restaurants don’t have them.

I don’t know what to do with this left-over fruit.  Why do I feel so bad about throwing it out.  [because of all the starving children in some far away country]  It’s not like keeping it and eating it is going to help them at all.  how weird…

**DISCLAIMER – A high-protein, low-carb diet can be dangerous, if you do not drink ALOT of fluids.  I drink 16.9oz bottles of water.  I drink between 8-12 of them per day.  That’s 101-202 ounces of water daily.  This diet flushes alot of chemicals & toxins through your liver & kidneys, making it imperative to drink LOTS of water every day.  When we ride and deplete our fluids, we have to really replenish them.  Also, this is not a long-term diet.  Once I’ve hit my goal, I will slowly start adding vegetables and fruits, oats & grainy bread back into my diet.  This is a short term solution to a lifelong situation, since we, as women, deal with our weight forever.**

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