Weigh-in: 175lbs. [caution, whine alert, caution, whine alert] Gee, musta been all the strenuous riding I did all week. Or maybe, the overly careful calculations of the 1800 calorie, 7-meals-a-day diet. What ever it was, I am depleted. I sit here, trying to find the word to describe the depth of which I’ve sunk from this weigh-in.
Let me apologise upfront. Today I am a sucking, black hole of despair. I’m devastated, depressed, overwhelmed, angry. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting to be thin when I weighed in today. I work very hard at remaining reasonable with my expectations. I know it’s not going to happen over night. The whole ‘you didn’t get this way in a few weeks, blah, blah blah’. I’m all over that, no worries. But to work so hard this week, and be at the same place????
Two weeks ago, I was at 171lbs. I did better with my calorie intake this week and rode my bike alot. And I weigh more!! What is up with that?? This is Failure Number Two!! I’m not going to give up. I did ride today. I did the required 1hr 17min, with tears streaming down my face the whole way. God, it’s been a long time since I cried while riding.
I’m trying to gather resolve from somewhere deep inside. Maybe if I bitched a little, get some of this off my chest. I am angry. The weight-loss industry is no different that the fashion or beauty industry. It is all B*LLSH*T. The ‘mathematic-diet-scientist’ was dead wrong! There he sits, with his ‘obviously faster metabolism’ scrawniness stating with his arrogant, nasally accent- ‘it’s all about the math. If you burn more calories than you take in, you will lose the weight. It’s simple, really’.
Really??? That’s odd. I burned a helluva lot of calories this week. And I carefully watched my diet. In fact, I was in a calorie-deficit every single day this week. And I did not lose one single pound. In fact, I weigh a pound more today than I did on Monday. But, they will still spin their lies: well, you must be working out too strenuously. Oh? But what about the simple math??? The more strenuously you work out, the more calories you burn, right? So, mathematically, you would lose, right? Wrong!
‘Well, you must have hit a plateau’. Oh, is that so? You know, I’m not a complete idiot. I planned for a plateau, I researched it. A plateau comes from your body slowing your metabolism when it senses distress. I made sure to eat enough calories to avoid that, while still having a calorie deficit. I should have seen a ‘slowing of loss’, but not a complete stop. I’m taking thyroid medicine, for god’s sake. That in it’s self would override a metabolic plateau.
Actually, I have no one to blame but myself. I know what works for me. I know it, it is fact. It is science, it is real. I preach it to all of you. But last week & this week, I doubted myself. I want to lose this weight so bad, I started thinking, ‘you know, maybe you don’t know so much’. And, ‘maybe you should listen to others, maybe there is some truth out there you need to pay attention to‘.
And so, I lost another week to mistakes. That makes it 2 weeks, total. It really bothers me. My daughter sometimes reads my blog. She’s in school to be a scientist. She’s very smart, really. And she always refutes my ideology with statements about how she needs to check out what I say on google. To make sure I am dealing with fact, not fantasy. Well little one, do that now. (and I mean that in the most loving way) Google weight-loss. See what you find.
See if you can sift through all the fantasy out there. Call me straightaway, if you find any fact. In the meanwhile, I’ll be googling for ‘a thousand different ways to cook an egg’. And searching for blogs on ‘high protein, quality carb’ weight loss success. And next week? Next week I will be hard-core protein-ing my way down the scale. You see, I got scared. I want to lose weight, and I want to be healthy. There’s alot of talk out there on fruit being important to ward off cancer. You know, the whole ‘anti-oxidant’ thing. And I’ve had cancer, so I wanted to find a way to diet that helped me lose the weight while giving my body the nutrients necessary to fight disease.
Well, being safe from cancer is going to have to wait until August. The only carbs to cross my lips for the next several weeks will be spinach. That’s the only one that works. Simple, easy to understand, science. Protein causes your body to burn stored fat, so long as your carb intake stays low. You have to drink alot of water, but it works. Every time. Now, to find a way to get past this discouraging place I’ve landed in. Well… there’s always tomorrow…
Actually, that is true. Because tomorrow is Saturday. We have the beginner rides. Do come & ride with me tomorrow. The beginner rides always motivate me and make me feel better. Watching these riders show up, push through their fear and trepidation, overcome their weaknesses and come out at the end of the ride victorious. Yes, that always makes me feel good. That is what I need tomorrow, that will refuel me.
Sunday’s ride with the intermediate riders gets me ready for the upcoming week. It challenges me. I like it. But it’s very different from Saturday. So, wanna help me feel better? Come ride with me tomorrow…
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